Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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