I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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