Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
