It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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