just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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