do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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