If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
