K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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