: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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