he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
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But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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