sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Enjoy the penises
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
