i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
