i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
