pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
