Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
