Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
