All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
