Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
