I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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