I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
