pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
