Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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