Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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