hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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