i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
