you would pick up someone in the library
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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