I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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