im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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