If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize