I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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