i need an iv and a liver transplant
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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