are you still at the devil's house?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
