WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
