Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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