U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
