Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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