I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I could fuck to npr.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
