you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
