I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
