well I can't set my house on fire every night
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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