Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
