gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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