Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I am available for nakedness
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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