all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
