my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize