im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
