i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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