she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
