i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
