people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
