Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
