Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
