oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
