And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
