the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
