Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
