and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize