I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize