Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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