I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
