he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
