Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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