I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
