Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
