Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
