just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
