Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize