I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
