i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
