i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
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yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You did what with his pubic hair?
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